Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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