I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
