and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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