and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
