One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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