For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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