Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
