I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize