in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
