don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Dicks are not precious.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
