Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
