Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize