Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize