omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
