I just cut my nipple shaving
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
My feet surprised me
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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