i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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