can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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