got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Randomize
