Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
