She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
