I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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