wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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