this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
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Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
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Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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