batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
