How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
