I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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