did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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