i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
