they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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