also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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