It's Friday. Sex?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
