I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i used baking grease as lip gloss
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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