So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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