Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
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