First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
