im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
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