Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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