i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
