I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
