literally had 100 drinks last night.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
