I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize