im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
