I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
