Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
you had me at cake vodka
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
