Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
