Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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