Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
