I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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