just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
