i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Randomize
