So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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