are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
