I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
