I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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