By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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