We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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