She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
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I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
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This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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