You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
