This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
