i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
