so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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