We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You need Xanax blowdarts
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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