i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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