in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
