i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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