so explain again why im purple
no
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize