I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize