Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My bed smells like the plague
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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